Your Xbox will now allow you to order pizza from authentic pizza purveyors Pizza Hut (@pizzahut), which means only one more thing is missing: the usb-powered desktop pizza mobility claw, allowing gamer to ingest pizza with minimal physical and mental exertion.
Financial Times reports that Pizza Hut targets its “captive audience” of “couch-bound young men” with this initiative. Nothin nefarious there. After all, the goal here is to feed and entertain interchangeably and what more does the human experience require?
And why not? Pizza should be accessible, hot, and in as little packaging as possible at all times, allowing us to eat it without delay or discomfort. Which, I’m assuming, was the sentiment behind the pizza vending machine phenomenon. So apparently there’s that.
Of course, we’ve seen this all before and by “we”, I mean those of us that have seen the “Make Love, Not Warcraft” episode of South Park.
In the South Park boys’ quest to gain experience points or whatever, they spend countless immobile hours at their computers and their health and appearance quickly deteriorate.
In the end, it was definitely worth it, as they acquired the Sword of 1000 Truths and slew their opponent, but the journey certainly had an effect on them.
What does that have to do with anything? Everything.
No one can know where this Pizza through Xbox phenomenon may lead, but we can certainly speculate. And this parody by The Onion is a fair indicator of the possibilities.
